Some Calvin quotes - CtrlC, CtrlVed from some websites.


They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

A good compromise leaves everybody mad.

Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

You know you'll hate something when they won't tell you what it is.

'The world isn't fair, Calvin.' 'I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?'

Studies in Contemporary State-Sponsored Terrorism. ....Also known as gym class.

'I've been thinking, Hobbes.' 'On a weekend?' 'Well, it wasn't on purpose...'

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.

People pay more attention to you when they think you're up to something.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

In my opinion, television validates existence.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.

Nothing I do is my fault.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Is it a right to remain ignorant?

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

I'd hate to have a kid like me.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.


People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world...

Life is like topography. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure...

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want ! I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas.

It is man's indomitable nature to scare himself silly for no good reason!